Nutz: Chasing a Noodle

I used to be indecisive... now I'm not so sure. 

Who Wants To Be a Chocolate Eclair?

This is an extra little bonus on top of today's Japan blog (day 9). Whilst on our road trip today, it seemed like an opportune moment to do some brainstorming and come up a new, crazy Japanese game show. I based my idea on Who Wants To Be a Millionaire. So, without further ado, let me introduce to you to my game show… Who Wants To Be a Chocolate Eclair?

The show is based upon the same format as the original - 15 questions to win - with just a few changes... 

Firstly, instead of 'fastest finger first', it's 'fastest sponge finger first' - the quickest contestant to eat a packet of sponge fingers gets to take his/her place in the hotseat.

Secondly, the three 'life lines' have changed:

Phone a Fiend: You have the opportunity to phone a fiend from a pre-selected list of well-known fiends. This list includes, but is not limited to, The Joker, Dracula, Hannibal Lector (useful for questions about wine), Skeletor and Dastardly & Mutley (I would advise not speaking to Mutley, or your 30 seconds will just end up being filled with his evil 'hehehehehehehehehehe'). Unlike the original 'phone a friend' option, fiends are unlikely to want to help you find the correct answer. A few of them will probably just want to know where you live and what blood type you are…

Ask The Asylum: This gives you the opportunity to survey the audience… which is made up of lunatics (there are plenty of those in Bexhill who are ready and waiting to be involved!) dressed in straight jackets. The audience participants have to push the button for the correct answer using their nose.

0/0/0: Instead of the regular 50/50, this time the computer takes away the right answer and leaves you to pick from the three remaining wrong ones.

For every correct answer that you make, you earn a share in Royal Mail. If you get all your questions right, you win a plate of cooked cow intestines. If you lose, which seems rather inevitable, you get covered in cream, wrapped in choux pastry and covered in chocolate. The asylum members then get released to "tuck in".

So, who wants to go first?


For my Japan day 9 blog post, please scroll down or view it here.

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Japan Day 9 - It's Turned Out Oranges & Lemons Again!

Evenin' All. Now, I know that I've been posting a lot of photographs of food lately. As a refreshing change, today's blog contains some really lovely and unusual photographs.

Before I begin, I discovered something interesting when talking to Sayaka and Mark earlier. Apparently, I've been saying "kireee des ne" wrongly. You may remember that I told you that it meant "you look beautiful" and that I said it to both Nonchan and Sayaka on the day of the dinner party. As it turns out, I was actually saying "Kiri des ne". It's amazing how a simple mis-pronunciation can
mean that instead of telling them they looked beautiful, I actually called them both a cucumber. No wonder Nonchan looked at me slightly confused when I said it!

Today, we left Nagano behind and headed South for about 380 kilometres, to Hikone. We stopped a few times en-route, all of which were pre-planned. We had a Japanese Sat Nav to help/hinder us. However, when we tried to enter the name of the town into the Sat Nav, it told us it didn't exist. Mark quickly thought of a work around - he brought up Google on his mobile phone, searched for restaurants in that town, took the PHONE NUMBER of the top one listed and entered it into the Sat Nav. *bing*, it pinpointed it and displayed the route. Towns don't exist, it seems, but phone numbers do!

Our first stop along the journey was at Ina. The first two photographs, including one of Sayaka eating (that's 3 consecutive blog posts where I've included a photo of someone eating), were taken there. This was also the location of my sighting of the biggest wasp I've ever seen. Revelation: the wasps in Japan are as big as airships!

After our stop at Ina, we headed off towards our lunch destination - a quaint little area called Magome. This really was a beautiful little place, and most of the remaining photographs on today's blog post are from there. Photograph 3 is of, what I named, 'the windy pig' - a strange little hanging pig that was dangling from the top of a shop front. It looks a little bit like a pig with a leaf stuck up it's bottom (though, when you look close-up, they are actually feathers). When the wind blows, the propellor thing turns around. I've heard of 'wind farms', but this is ridiculous.

I will leave you to look through the rest of the photographs 4 to 14. I think that most of them speak for themselves. I loved the scenery and colours of that traditional little Japanese street. To make things interesting, there's also a silly photo of me in there, for you to spot.

Photograph 15 is of lunch (ok, so I do have one photo of food in this blog). It was a dish with rice at the bottom and fried chicken and vegetables on the top. Very nice indeed. As a side-point, I have to say that today is the first day that I have really found myself craving English food. The thought of a nice prawn sandwich washed down with a berry smoothie. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Photograph 16 is of a couple of masks, from a large collection of hanging masks at the restaurant that we ate lunch in. To me, it looks as if the one on the right has blown off and the one on the left has just got a whiff of it.

Photograph 17 is of the three of us, as we took in a spectacular mountain view.

After enjoying our lunch and walk, we headed off to Hikone. Arriving at our hotel, I took photograph 18 out of the window.

Tomorrow we are going to visit our friend Liz, who is currently teaching and living in Japan. Sayaka mentioned to me that it will be nice for me to have another English person to use my humour on. I reminded her that I don't have any humour - I'm a very serious, somber person… it's just that no-one takes what I say seriously!

Right, that's it from me for tonight. There is one thing from today that I haven't included in this blog, as I'm going to do a separate blog post about it tomorrow. You lucky people!

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Japan Day 8 - Read This Or The Dog Gets It!

On the third day of Starbucks Christmas, my good bruv gave to me: one sugar doughnut and a nice cup of hot chai tea.

Today was our final day in Nagano and it started off with some sensible reflection on what I have discovered so far. There is much to admire and be impressed with about Japanese society. There is hardly any crime. Over the last week I have only seen one police car. This is because, by committing crime, they would be bringing shame upon their family. Consequently, you feel safe where-ever you go and you can safely leave your bag on a seat and go up and order coffee. Everyone takes pride in their appearance and their work. Unemployment is low and there is no 'benefit culture' here - if someone loses their job they feel ashamed, so they go straight out to find another one.

To continue this subject further - one thing that bugs me when walking around back home, in Bexhill town centre, is the amount of rubbish bins overflowing with litter. Here in Japan, there are no litter bins. Does that mean that the streets are full of litter? No - completely the opposite. People take pride in their towns and take their rubbish home. Consequently, when you walk around the main shopping streets there isn't a piece of litter to be seen anywhere.

Ok, lets move on to the diary of the day, which mainly revolves around, yes, you guessed it, food. For lunch we met up with Esdras and ate ramen, a traditional Japanese noodle soup with a soft-boiled egg in the middle. This is one of Mark's favourite dishes and it was delicious (photograph 1). After enjoying our ramen, we headed to Starbucks, once again, to do a few hours of work to the background music of "I'm dreaming of a White Christmas". Photograph 2 shows the sugar doughnut and chai tea that I consumed.

After an afternoon of work, we went out to dinner with Sayaka's Mum and Dad for a final goodbye meal. It was great fun and we had a lot of laughs. It also gave me the opportunity to practice some Japanese, Ally style:

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh?" is "eh?" (they use that a lot, and I've been singing it in multiple voices, including suprano)
"Toki Doki, Ichy Nichy" is "sometimes….. 1 day" (yes, the English doesn't make sense - I've combined two separate phrases into one for the purposes of 'super-catchy-coolness'. Doesn't the Japanese version sound great!

Sayaka's parents also told me, in Japanese, that my souvenir, for coming to Japan, is my cold. So, I'd just like to put your minds at rest - don't worry, I will be bringing souvenirs home for all of you...

For this evening's meal, we went out to a Korean restaurant. I know what you're thinking at this point, and you're wrong. Lassie was not on the menu. However, there were a few unusual options. Before I begin on that, I must just tell you about my trip to the toilet (ok, stay with me on this one). After opening the door and walking into the closet (I can't read Japanese), I opened the door to the toilet and went inside. There I was greeted with what can only be described as a urinal for midgets with very long necks. I couldn't resist taking a photograph (photograph 3).

Right, now, back to our gastronomic festival of cow. As well as the regular cuts of beef, we ate tongue and organs such as the heart and intestines. All of this was brought to our table for us to cook on a small fire-heated grate in the middle of the table, and was washed down with a nice cold beer.

Whilst chewing on my intestine (that's the first time I've ever been able to say that!), I found myself picturing cows wandering the fields of Japan holding organ donor cards with the restaurant's name at the top. Incidentally, if you're wondering what it's like to eat cow intestine, go and pull the inner-tube out of your bicycle tyre, cut a bit off, dip it in barbecue sauce and stick it in your mouth. Quick tip - make sure you've got a puncture repair kit handy to put it all back together afterwards.

Now, I've mentioned before that Japanese people seem able to eat about 4 times their own body weight at every evening meal. Well, tonight was no exception. I haven't seen so much meat consumed since Takanohana, the Sumo Wrestler, visited an Atkins restaurant for an all-you-can-eat buffet (after a month of religious fasting).

Ok, lets go through the food and drink. Photograph 4 shows Sayaka's Dad with two pints of beer - one small one (mine) and one larger one (his). Photograph 5 is of him drinking his (larger) beer. Photograph 6 is of cow tongue, which is thin and slightly chewy. Photograph 7 is one of the normal cuts of beef - delicious. Photograph 8 shows the meat cooking in the middle of the table. Photograph 9 is of the raw meat dish that we ate WITHOUT cooking it. It was mixed with tomato and a small amount of chilli - delicious. Bicycle tyre at the ready, it's the intestine in photograph 10 (the yellow one).

As a break from the food, photographs 11 and 12 are of Mark and me and of Mark, me, Sayaka's Mum and Sayaka's Dad.

After we had stuffed ourselves stupid (seems to be a continuing theme of this trip), Sayaka's Mum and Dad decided that they hadn't quite had enough of my company. So, they suggested that we drive to another local place that served a more comprehensive menu of delicious desserts. How could we refuse? So, off we went.

After arriving at Coco's - the dessert restaurant owned by a clown (I made that bit up) - I ordered a banana pancake (photograph 13), Sayaka's Dad ordered a chocolate sundae (photo 14), Sayaka's Mum ordered a "green tea chocolate fondant" (photo 15) and Mark ordered a chocolate fondant (photo 16). I tried all of their desserts and they were delicious (I didn't let them try mine though - HAHAHAHA!!!!!) Oh, I forgot to say, photograph 13 also shows the origami rose and swan that I made out of the paper napkins and gave to Sayaka's Mum.

Right, that's about it from me for today. Tomorrow we head south on a road trip. Before I go, though, I must reveal that I tried a Japanese toilet properly for the first time today (no, I haven't been shitting on the bathroom floor all week). I thought I owed it to myself and my… handful… of followers to give it a go. At the start, it's quite strange and un-natural as the water is sprayed into your derriere. You find yourself chuckling slightly - firstly out of slight embarrassment at the thought of what is going on and secondly at the slight tickling sensation. Get your garden hose out and try it yourself - just make sure the neighbours are away and, for goodness sake, don't get frostbite!

To conclude - if you ever find yourself walking past a toilet door in Japan and you hear someone chuckling, they're either having their bottom sprayed or... they're reading my blog (or both… hmm, that's a weird thought!)

Good night.

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Japan Day 7 (Part 1) - Ninjas Wielding Tissues

I have once again separated my daily blog off into two parts. So, lets get the half-sensible bit over with first before I go into my mode of silliness and stupidity (otherwise known as "Alastair's normality time") in part 2 (below this).

Today we visited Togakushi, up in the mountains of Nagano. This involved a 45 minute journey up the mountain roads, including one particular bit of road that I likened to driving through a greenhouse (photograph 1), but without the opportunity to stick your arm out of the window to grab a handful of tasty tomatoes. That particular roof structure was built to stop the snow settling on the road, which would make the road implausible… err, no, sorry, I mean impassable.

Once we arrived at Togakushi, we queued up to have lunch at the Togakushi Soba Restaurant - "the home of soba in Japan". Soba is a type of thin Japanese noodle made from buckwheat flour. To quote from the menu, "it is said that soba was first brought to Togakushi by apprentice monks at the close of the Heian Era about 800 years ago". Photograph 2 shows Mark and Sayaka keeping warm infront of the heater at the front of the restaurant. Photograph 3 shows the food that we ordered - soba noodles, together with broth. Their instructions for eating say that you should "pick up four or five noodles, dip the bottom 1/3 of the noodles in the broth and then eat them with a hearty slurp". Yes, that's right, you have to make a slurping sound in order to eat them properly (whooohooo!). To go with this dish, we also had a plate of tempura (what I would describe as "battered stuff" - see photograph 4). This included shrimps, sweet potato, mushrooms, asparagus and runner bean - all battered.

After devouring our soba lunch, we had a little walk around the nearby area. The first thing we came across was a little well, where I was able to 'cleanse' my hands (photograph 5). We then climbed the steps up to the Togakushi Shrine (photograph 6) where Mark and I engaged in what can only be described as a "very small and pathetic snowball fight" (there wasn't much snow and we both missed each other). Opposite the temple was a 700 year old tree (photograph 7).

After walking back down the steep steps, we got back into the car and headed further up the road towards a little Ninja Village - it was surprisingly easy to spot!! Within this little village area was an old ninja temple, which housed original historical items from the era of the ninjas. There was also a little workshop to the side, with all sorts of useful items brilliantly carved and constructed out of wood. It really made me think about how everything is given to us on a plate these days.

After looking around this area, Mark and I headed towards the Ninja House, taking a photograph of ourselves as Ninjas on the way (photograph 8). The Ninja Fun House is a building that is essentially a maze, with hidden walls, compartments, passageways, stairs, etc - all very nicely and cleverly built. A few of the hidden doors were especially difficult to find. Photograph 9 is of my backside as I tried to clamber up the sloped floor to the door at the top, in a 'sneaky ninja way' (that failed badly). Damn, I've got a great bottom though, haven't I!

Photograph 10 shows the Ninja Fun House on the right, with a weird tower building on the left (you go into it and it starts shaking as if you're in an earthquake). Having enjoyed the delights of the ninja village, we headed back down the mountain roads.

That's it for part 1 of today's blog. Read on (below the photographs) for part 2… Let the stupidity begin...

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Japan Day 7 (Part 2) - Spinach and Bras

Remember, remember the 5th of November. Well, actually, no, don't remember that date at all, you fools! Here in Japan it's 'remember, remember, the 30th of November'. It obviously took Guy Fawkes a bit longer to get to Japan... Incidentally, that was Mark's joke - I borrowed it - thanks Mark! (crap joke, wasn't it!)

Today, I noticed an interesting similarity between South Africa and Japan. That is to say that their road workers work in similar ways. How many Japanese road workers does it take to repair a road? Three - one to repair the road and two to stand on either side of the coned-off area, waving flags. Photograph 1 of this section shows what I mean. I noticed the same thing in South Africa. Mark explained that this happens in Japan because they like to give jobs to people, to get them working rather than being unemployed. Some of them have even evolved their abilities - they can beckon you on with one hand, whilst waving the flag with the other (multi-talented)!

After our earlier trip to Togakushi (detailed in part 1 of today's blog - if you haven't read it, WHY NOT!?!?!?). We headed to Starbucks for a while to do some work and listen to more Christmas music (and gawp at more women). I felt festive today from the very start, so I ordered my first piece of Christmas Cake of this new, and soon-to-be over-long and annoying, Christmas season. Photograph 2 shows my Raspberry Christmas Cake, which tasted... nothing at all like Christmas cake. It was like a raspberry sponge cake - very nice, but not festive. ARE YOU LISTENING STARBUCKS?? Your Christmas Cake is NOT Christmassy! In fact, it's about as Christmassy as the Easter Bunny dressed as a pumpkin with 3.14 written on the side (pumpkin pi)… clever one that, eh!

Ok, on to our evening meal, before I get back to more stupidity. We went to Poco-a-Poco (so good, they named it twice). There we ate pizza (photograph 3) and a creation called OmRice (photograph 4). The Japanese are very clever people - who would have thought of the idea of getting cooked rice in a bowl…. and placing an omelette on the top. Then, not content with sitting back in glee at their cleverness, they went that extra step further and named it OmRice. Genius. Very tasty, too. After those two courses, I felt as stuffed as a taxidermist's workshop. Mark, however, was still going (the greedy b*stard) and he ordered an egg custard dessert. Photograph 5 shows his dessert (together with Sayaka eating in the background). HA - I did it - another photo in my blog of someone eating!

As we were leaving Poco-a-Poco (so good, they named it twice), we spotted some weird fruit shaped halloween ornaments sitting in a bowl on a table (photograph 6). The owner of Poco-a-Poco (so good, they named it twice) (ok, that's getting annoying now!) told us that they had grown these large pear-shaped fruits (calabash) for over a year until they had become huge. They then cut the insides out and made halloween faces out of them. Superb!

My final photograph of the day was taken on the way home, when we stopped at a 24 hour convenience store (how convenient!). Photograph 7 is therefore of…. no, go on, you guess…. yes, that's right - they're Christmas Spinach Doughnuts!! Ok, so they're not actually Christmas ones (though they easily could be, as they are about as Christmassy as the Starbucks cake), but they are spinach doughnuts. Amazing… and probably quite disgusting. I might have to try one before I leave Japan.

Ok, I'm going to end tonight's blog post with another bizarre idea that I thought of, with some help from Mark, tonight (and following a mis-communication with Sayaka). Yes, I'd like to introduce to you: bras with brail - "because, even people with sight problems need to feel some titillation" . Ok, it needs some more work.

Right, I'm off. I need a lie down… and serious medication too, by the looks of it…

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Japan Day 6 (Part 1) - Chasing a Noodle

Today, I was feeling well enough to go out and show my ugly mug in public again. So, after lunch (photograph 1) I put on my face mask (photograph 2)... took it off again and we headed out of the door.

We visited Zenkoji, a famous temple where it was said that people should visit at least once in their lives. Today was my day. Photograph 3 shows Sayaka infront of one of the houses surrounding the temple area.

Photograph 4 shows a tree with fortune telling paper on it. In the main temple there is an area selling fortune telling paper for about 200-300 yen (about 2 pounds). If it is a good fortune, you take it home and display it proudly on your wall, alongside your cycling proficiency certificate. If you open it and find that it is a bad fortune, you don't take it back, bash the woman around the head with your umbrella and demand a refund. Instead, you tie it one of these trees and leave it there.

Photograph 5 shows a view through the main archway towards the temple… with a girl with a rather nice bottom wiggle (who I/we followed closely for quite some time).

Photograph 6 shows Mark and me, looking cool, stood to the left of the temple. Photograph 7 is of me ushering smoke towards me whilst standing on a step. The idea of this is that if you let the smoke go over your head, you will gain intelligence. I stood there for about a minute… and felt a bit stupid, if I'm honest. But hey, lets see what happens.

At this point, we entered the main temple, where we took our shoes off and walked in. The floor was very cold on our feet. But we walked to the middle and knelt down to say a prayer infront of the statues on the altar - taking two pinches of incense and putting them to our head before adding them on to a small burning pile infront of us and then making a wish (I resisted the temptation to wish for underfloor heating). After this, we headed to a series of steps to the side of the altar.

To quote from the board outside the temple (photograph 8), "under the main altar is a tunnel called Okaidan. Touching the "Key to Pure-Land" while passing through the tunnel will bless a strong tie with the main image (Nyorai) and promise to Pure-Land." So, we went down the steps towards the tunnel. Once you get a few steps along the passage it literally goes pitch black. This leaves you to fumble your way along, touching the right hand wall (and the arse of the person infront) whilst searching for the 'key' on the right hand side. We found it, and felt it, and then walked around until we found the steps back up to the light.

Having experienced the temple, we headed out of the right door to check out some of the other surrounding buildings, including a war memorial (photo 8), some cows (photo 9) and the bell tower (photos 10 and 11). Mark then took a photograph (photo 12) of the Roko Jizo buddhas. The reason they have bibs is apparently because they saved children. They are "the protectors of six realms." Each Jizo protects one of the six realms: Hell, Hungry Ghosts, Animals, Asura, Humans and Heavenly Beings.

After this, we headed back out of the main gate, where they were busy taking down the lanterns (photo 12).

That's it for part 1 of today's blog. Part 2 follows on below the photographs (it's worth reading... go on, you know you want to...)

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Japan Day 6 (Part 2) - Bah Humbug!

"Hello, good evening and welcome" is the phrase that Sir David Frost used to begin his evening quiz show with. That phrase used to come shortly before he would send his posh hobo friend (with the strange accent) in to have a 'good root around' in the homes of the rich and famous. "What is my point," I hear you ask. "I'm not sure, I've forgotten now," is my response. Anyway, today's blog is a blog of two halves. Think football, but without the spitting and play acting. So, without further ado, here is the second half of today's nonsense from me. If you haven't read part 1, please read that one first (above this one).

Having visited Zenkoji (detailed in part 1), Mark and I headed off to Starbucks (otherwise known as Mark's office) whilst Sayaka went to a local sauna. The first thing I noticed when we walked into Starbucks was the Christmas music. The second thing I noticed was that the place was full of young Japanese women. Not only that, but if you sat there looking out of the window, you would observe a continuous stream of young ladies in short skirts walking past. There's no other way of putting it; Starbucks in Nagano is a pervert's paradise. I felt quite at home working there.

Whilst sitting with my Chai tea; a delicious blend that tastes a lot like Christmas (no, it's not full of pine needles and tinsel), I spotted a very cute girl (in a very short skirt) sitting to my right and attempted to subtly take a photo of her on my phone. It worked - only Mark and everyone else in Starbucks, apart from the girl herself, noticed. Excuse the blurry nature of photograph 1, but you get the idea.

At first the Christmas music was annoying. I found myself having thoughts like "Santa Claus is coming to town... Yeah in about 2 months! As is swine flu, but you won't find me singing about that!". But, after a while I began to get into it and started to feel quite festive, making the Facebook comment "anyone fancy a mince pie and a quick snog under the mistletoe (women only) ? Happy Christmas everyone!" No-one has yet taken me up on the offer... so I've still got a large stock of mince pies.

After spending a few hours working in Starbucks, our laptop batteries ran low and we realised it was time to leave. So we met up with Sayaka again and headed off to find somewhere to eat. We settled at an Italian restaurant, where we ordered courses from prawn salad and pizza to a chocolate truffle (photographs 3 and 4). Whilst waiting for our food to arrive, it seemed like an opportune moment to try on Sayaka's hat (photograph 2).

After finishing dinner, we called in at a DVD rental store on the way home. As we walked in, I couldn't believe my ears. They were playing Auld Lang Syne on their music system. That's Christmas and New Year in one day! It turns out that they play that song during the last 15 minutes of the day, so that people know that they are closing and head for the doors. I can think of better music to play to get everyone to leave the store… anything by Britney Spears, for example.

Ok, that's enough from me for today. TTFN.

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Japan Day 5 - Weetabix and Cuddling Sheep

So, what have I got in store for you today, you lovely people? Three bags of snotty tissues and an important revelation - that's what. We'll start off with the discovery that will shock the world: In Japan, they play music (muzak) with their weather forecasts. I think they should do that in the UK - I love the thought of relaxing to music whilst the female presenters tell us all about their warm fronts.

Day 5 started off with me laying in bed until quite late in the morning. I had no energy whatsoever, but didn't feel particularly sleepy. So, I just lay there. It's amazing how your mind wanders on to bizarre thoughts when you do that. For example, I found myself wondering what famous world structures I could replicate using Mark's over-large collection of Weetabix (see photograph 1).

Shortly after that, I came up with a great new idea to help people get up in the morning. It simply involves wiring your alarm clock snooze button to the mains. Think russian roulette. The alarm clock goes off in the morning and you want to snooze… however, there's a 50/50 chance resting on it. Either the snooze button will work, and you can go back to sleep, or you'll get a blast of several thousand volts and be woken up nicely to get on with your day (or be dead; but without risk there's no adventure!).

Having come up with my brilliant ideas, I finally prised myself out of bed and we ate lunch. Photograph 2 shows Sayaka cooking and photographs 3 shows her creation - delicious vegetable soup. Following that, we ate the raspberry cheesecake that I had been given by Sayaka and Mark at their party (photos 4 and 5).

Though it was very cold here today (4 days ago it was 22 degrees and we were wearing t-shirts), the sun was out and there was a clear view out into the distance. So, I took a couple of photographs of the mountains. Check out photographs 6 and 7. If you look very closely, you will see snow on the mountains. If you look really, really closely you will see a snow leopard sitting on the mountain, picking his nose and drinking Sake…

With it being so cold outside, and my lack of energy, I spent the entire day inside. I've watched seven episodes of Heroes, one of FlashForward and none of Last Of The Summer Wine. I'm hoping that I will be feeling well enough to get out of the house tomorrow, before I get square eyes.

Ok - on to the final set of photographs. Photograph 8 shows some cuddling sheep (attached to a heart balloon) - a present given to Mark and Sayaka. Photograph 9 shows my place card from their dinner party, with my name in Japanese. Photograph 10 is of a flower arrangement made entirely of cardboard. Notice, if you will, the spinning flower on the right. Genius!

Right, I'm off for a snooze… how shocking!

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Japan Day 4 - Tofu and Antibiotics

Konichiwa. Well, there isn't a great deal to tell you about yesterday, so I may have to pad the blog post out with a gradual increase in font size. I was ill for much of yesterday.

Having taken three days to get over the jet lag, to get ill on the fourth day was unfortunate, to say the least.

The day started off well enough - breakfast in the hotel was lovely; a mixture of English and Japanese cuisine. Photograph 1 shows Sayaka eating hers (why is that I keep taking photos of people eating?). Nonchan didn't join us for breakfast as she was still snoozing. Yes, that's right, the potential delight of a hard boiled egg and a glass of grapefruit juice wasn't enough to prize her from her bed.

Before leaving the hotel, I took a photograph out of my hotel room window. To pinpoint a few things in the photograph (photo 2); Nagano station is over to the right, the main centre is over to the left and Starbucks is straight ahead (it wouldn't seem right not to point it out). As you can see, there is no shortage of choice for taxis outside the station.

We headed home from the hotel and I began to feel a bit ill. It started off as a bit of a sniffle, so I thought that getting some fresh air might be a good plan. We went out for lunch and ate a Tofu lunch. Photograph 3 shows the soup, fried tofu, tofu with egg (top middle) and tofu cheesecake (top right). It was all delicious.

Sadly my cold started getting worse and, after a lie down, it developed into a very swollen throat. As a precaution, we went to the local hospital and saw a Doctor. I was half-expecting him to tell me I had swine flu and half-hoping for some kind of Japanese super-miracle "here, try this and you'll be better in no time... oh, and you'll develop a super ability to see through walls and juggle & eat doughnuts without licking your lips". But, he just stared down my throat and said, in Japanese, "it's a bit swollen" - yeah, no kidding mate, thanks. He then filled out a form for antibiotics. It seems that it doesn't matter where you are in the world these days, a Doctor will prescribe you antibiotics for anything from a sore toe to a missing limb. I'm pleased to report that I haven't taken the antibiotics - I'm recovering with use of rest, night nurse and Nurofen Cold and Flu (and Sayaka's great cooking).

So, that was day 4.

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Japan Day 3 - Kirei Desu Ne

Well, poke me in the eye with a chopstick and call me Long John Silver. I think that most of day 4 will actually be spent blogging about day 3. Yesterday was a long, long day. So, get yourself a sleeping bag and a mug of cocoa - this could be a looooong read. It was the day of Mark and Sayaka's celebration meal. Forty of Sayaka's relatives and friends were invited, with the dinner being held in the posh function suite of the Metropole Hotel in Nagano. Mark and Sayaka wore traditional Japanese dress - Furisode (Sayaka) and Montsuki (Mark). Sayaka looked very pretty (kirei desu ne = "you're beautiful").

Unfortunately, Mark has told me that I'm not allowed to post any photos of them on my blog, so you will have to look forward to seeing photographs of the outfits at a later date.

It was rather an anxious day all round, with appointments to be met for Mark and Sayaka (hair and outfits), speeches to be memorised (Mark had two speeches to do, which were made difficult by the fact that they used old Japanese phrases) and with the evening dinner itself. I had the job of official photographer, which proved to be tricky (but fun) because I wasn't used to the format of the occasion.

Before the evening began, Mark and I started off having lunch at a little restaurant called Ichibun (not to be mistaken with a rash on your bottom - "itchy bum"). The guy had built his little restaurant on the side of his house; a quaint little place. Photographs 1, 2 and 3 show Mark and me eating our lunch - Mark had Ramen and I had a dish made of chicken, egg and rice. Notice my use of chopsticks - I'm getting better at this. It was a light lunch - thank goodness for that. When it comes to evening meals, the Japanese manage to eat several times their own body weight... well, that's the way it seemed last night anyway.

With lunch out of the way, and having picked up my new suit, it was time to make our way to the hotel to prepare for the evening.

The evening was in two parts. Firstly, the official dinner. Secondly, a small party with a group of close friends at Mario's restaurant; about 10 minutes walk from the hotel.

Official Dinner

Sayaka and Mark welcomed all forty guests into the room - I was with them taking group photographs and attempted to use some of my Japanese phrases. I quickly learned the policy of 'if in doubt, just nod enthusiastically' as some of the guests spoke to me. They were all really friendly and were genuinely pleased to meet me. Then began two hours of eating food, presentations, eating more food, more presentations, more food… It really was an amazing evening. We had about 8 courses of food in the end - from sushi to soup to cottage pie. Esdras, who was on my table, was kind enough to point out to me, each time a dish arrived, that it wasn't yet the main course. I thought he was joking… until the main course finally did arrive after the 6 previous dishes had been consumed.

The MC of the evening introduced presentations about Mark and Sayaka and kept things ticking along. There were speeches, singing, games (Mark was blindfolded at one point and had to guess which hand was Sayaka's from a group of women holding out their hands). Mark did incredibly well with his speech - he had a lot to learn and was understandably nervous speaking traditional Japanese to so many of Sayaka's relatives. Meanwhile, I was running around like a blue-arsed-fly trying to take photographs from every conceivable angle - not knowing what was coming next.

Right, on to photos:
Photographs 4 and 5 are of Nonchan looking "kirei" (beautiful) whilst elegantly stuffing her face with food.
Photograph 6 is of me eating food with my chopsticks, photograph 7 is of me taking photos of the food (Mark asked me to do it, honest!).

Photograph 8 is the sushi dish.
Photograph 9 is of the waiter dishing out cottage pie (course number 6).

It is traditional, at this type of occasion, for members of the family to come up and pour you a drink. So, lots of member's of Sayaka's family poured me drinks. This resulted in a build-up of drinks around me. Photograph 10 shows this - two drinks of Sake, one of champagne, one white wine, one red wine, one water and one tea.

Photograph 11 is of the dessert. I was absolutely stuffed at this point, but still managed to eat some of the delicious strawberry and yoghurt and the little apple flan.

Photograph 12 is of Esdras, Nonchan and me at the end of the evening.

Unofficial Party

After the official dinner, we had a quick change of clothes and headed out to Mario's restaurant. There we ate (more food!? Surely not!), drank, had laughs and played silly games. It was great fun. Photograph 13 is of Mark and Sayaka playing a game - Sayaka was blindfolded and had to guess which 'derriere' was Mark's. Photographs 14 and 15 are of Mark, me and Sayaka making fools of ourselves. Photograph 16 is of the whole group of us.

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