Nutz: Chasing a Noodle

I used to be indecisive... now I'm not so sure. 
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Misfortune Favours The Unfortunate

I'm not greatly into the whole 'fortune telling' thing (to say the least). But, yesterday, Liz and I paid some money into a little fortune telling machine here in Kyoto. Hey, it looked like fun, what harm could it do? I've attached a small video to this blog post, so that you can see what it was like. I've also included a photo of the fortune itself. 

Quite simply, the fortune machine included a wooden lion dancing robot mask thing (great description, eh? Mark came up with that one after I asked him what it was!). After we put our money in, the 'wooden lion dancing robot mask thing' danced around a bit, bowed several times and then grabbed a fortune and dropped it down the hole. Liz and I immediately unwrapped our fortunes and read them. Mine was said to be an "excellent" one. So, no need for me to locate a tree and tie it to it… or so I thought. Here are some of the things it said (my comments are in brackets):

Business: "Take your time"
(ok, I will. Thanks. I now have an excuse for being a bit slack with getting projects done!)
Study: "All right. Continue studying."
(ok…. goooooooood…. what studying is that then!?)
Speculation: "The market is fluctuating now. It's time you make it"
(isn't the market always fluctuating - that's just the economic cycle, surely? It's a bit like saying "time is ticking by" or "the post men are on strike...")
Game and match: "Depend on your partner or team mates"
(sounds pretty normal to me)
Childbirth: "Keep regular hours"
(I wasn't aware I was going to be giving birth any time soon, but thanks for the tip!)
Wish: "It will surely be fulfilled later."
(super… would you like to expand a bit more and give me an estimated timescale on when I can expect my extra arm to grow?)
Missing Thing: "It's hard to be found. It will fall into other hands."
(that's the amazing thing about missing things - it's always so hard to find them. I guess that's why they are called "missing")
Expected Visitor: "He (or she) is sure to come, even if later."
(hmm, it's rather hedging it's bets on this one - the expected visitor could be a he OR a she. Also, whoever he/she is, they are sure to come at some point, even if it takes them 50 years. Great, I'll put the kettle on...")

Now, at this point I can tell what you're thinking - "well, knock me down with a spinach doughnut -  how does that fortune telling machine know you so well?" I really don't know - it's amazing. But wait, it gets better - here is the really interesting bit:

Travel: "Little profit. Something bad will happen on your way home"

That's right - that 'wooden lion dancing robot mask thing' gave me a (mis)fortune that said that something bad is going to happen to me on Sunday, when I travel home. I have been thinking about it and the list of potential catastrophes is fairly large: everything from me choking on an airline pretzel to my plane crash-landing on a desert island.

So, what I need you to do now is to put your hands together in prayer, and lets hope that the 'bad thing' is just that I stub my toe on the plane toilet door.

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Comments (3)

Nov 09, 2009
Alick said...
Classic. At least you now know where your life is heading!
Nov 09, 2009
Paul said...
Can you bring me one back please :)

Have you seen the film 'Big'? Did you check round the back to make sure it was plugged in when you made your wish!?

Nov 09, 2009
Alastair Hazell said...
Funny you should say that, Paul. I woke up this morning and I was 15 years old again...

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