"
If I was to punch that rich looking guy, would he sue me?" That was the question I put to my brother whilst we were walking around our
Onsen Hotel in Kotohira, Japan. His response was quick: "No, he'd probably apologise for walking into your fist."
It's funny, but it does actually make an interesting point about how friendly Japanese people are. My brother is right - the man would probably stand there and apologise and bow profusely. To get him to stop bowing, I'd probably have to punch him again… harder… somewhere in the chest cavity… with some knuckle dusters…
At times it seemed quite bizarre to me, as a Westerner (oh no, I used *that* word). Walk in or out of a hotel, restaurant, shop or cafe and you will find the staff thanking you, bowing, smiling - sincerely happy to see you (but not glad to see you leave). Yes, it's nice but come on - I should be thanking you for my nice meal or service or for allowing me to look around your lovely shop. I feel like giving them a violent shake - no, not a liquid refreshment made of milk. What does a violent milkshake look like anyway, for goodness sake? Is it served with a machete instead of a straw?
Anyway, back to my point - what a difference this kind of service makes from the brand outlets in the UK, where they serve you in a shop, mumble the price, wipe their nose on their sleeve (well, at least it's not your sleeve) and then stare at you as if to say "
go on then, I've done my bit, you can put it in a bag yourself." I want to be served my
spinach doughnuts with a smile, not with a snarl and a fart from Mr ASBO.
Now, onto another point about service. When you're out somewhere (a bit of a non-specific statement, I know) and a Japanese person goes above and beyond for you (like cleaning your windscreen in the petrol station), they don't expect a tip for it. It's all part of the service. Go to give the man a tip and he wont know what to do with it.
Question: when is green not green, but actually blue? Hint: It's nothing to do with a convention of colourblind frogs. Answer: At Japanese road crossings and street lights. Yes, despite the light being as green as a mouldy apple jelly baby sitting on a plate of cress in Cafe Vert (note to self: don't go there for the 'dish of the day!') , the light is blue blue and it's a blue man, not a green one.
Whilst on the subject of the green (or blue) man, I found it highly entertaining to watch Japanese people at crossings. In Japan, the 'stop, look, listen' rule has been replaced with 'stop…. stare at blue man…. hope….' Despite the fact that a car hasn't been spotted in either direction for months, they stand there… waiting for the blue man and the inevitable muzac (probably the tune of The Proclaimers 'I Would Walk 500 Miles… But There's A Red Man Stopping Me'). I was told that it is considered shameful to cross when the red man is showing. So, people wait… and wait… and then suddenly one man thinks 'sod it, I'm going to be late for my chiropodist' and goes to cross. Like wildebeest waiting to cross a crocodile-infested river; once one goes, suddenly they all go. It's obviously less shameful to cross on the red man once someone else has done it. There's comfort in being shamed as a group... just ask X-Factor duo 'John and Edward'.
On to Japanese women now (about time too!). One thing I admire greatly about Japanese women is their effort in wearing short skirts and shorts in any weather. Amazing…. ok, enough admiring!
Oh, and whilst it comes to the opposite sex, I found out that in Japanese, the words for 'hot' and 'thick' are the same. As are 'tall' and 'expensive'. So, next time you hear your Japanese friend saying that she has met a tall, hot man… you might want to think twice before seeking an introduction and asking if they have any similar friends.
So, why do such a high percentage of men find Japanese women so attractive (apart from the way that they dress?). Well, I have a theory, and it's all about pupil dilation. It has been scientifically proven that people become more attractive when their pupils dilate - it's a sign that someone is attracted to you (or that someone is incredibly drunk). With Japanese women, their eyes tend to be very dark, which makes it seem as if their pupils are dilated (or they're hammered!). So, if you're not gazing at their legs, you're gazing into their eyes. Well, that's what I find, anyway. I mean, check out the image below. Her eyes.... are amazing.
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